Post by Bitch*Goddess on Oct 23, 2004 6:46:34 GMT -5
Title Forever Angel
Author Carly
Pairing JayBourne
RatingNot sure yet…
Part One of one!
It’s hard. Really hard. I’ll never forget the day when I got told that I’d never see you again. I cried. Me, big, tough, loud Matt cried for 3 days straight. You died 2 days after I told you what I’d wanted to tell you since we met. That I loved you. Yes, I want to scream out to everyone, I loved James Bourne. More than I’ll ever love anyone in my life. Everything about you made me smile. I could be me when I was with you and you understood me so well. If you were here, we could have been something excellent together.
Yet as all these thoughts rush through my head about you, about how perfect you were in every way, I have nothing that I want to tell them. It’s all a bit too personal for me. You were the only one that ever got close to knowing the real me. I want to tell all these people just why I loved you. Why you’re so special and how I will NEVER get over you. EVER. I’ll never find anyone else that I need as much as I needed you. And I did. So much. I needed you there to tell me that I wasn’t useless, that I had a purpose and most of all, that you loved me and needed me too.
As soon as I told you how I felt you lunged your whole body at me and we were kissing and it was so much bliss I could never begin to explain just how I felt at the moment when ur arms tightened around me and I felt your tongue in my mouth and we fell back on the sofa entwined in each other. To me it was heaven. Now you’ve gone to give someone else as much joy as you gave me. Up in heaven. I know that’s where you’ve gone because you were so innocent that there is nowhere else that would suit you apart from eternal paradise.
You are my angel Jay and I know that you are watching me now as I stand on the podium, tears streaming down my face just looking at everyone who has come to say their final goodbyes. Except it’s not their last goodbye. No one could ever forget you. Who would they want to anyway?
I thought that I would be able to manage coming up here just to tell everyone that you were perfect and you’ll always be missed but I even ****ed that up. All I can do is look around at all the crying faces. My eyes are blurry and I reach my hand up to brush away the tears that are determined to never stop falling. I feel Nick come up beside and place his hand on my arm. He asks me if I want him to say something for him. I shake my head and raise my face to the ceiling in a silent prayer that you can see me now and know how much you meant to me.
“I don’t know what to say to you all today. I know what you are all thinking because the thoughts in your mind are the same as mine. He’s an angel and he’s resting in heaven. He made me whole and I know he touched just about everyone’s heart that he met.” I sigh and look around again. Everyone’s attention is on me and I know what I want to do. “When I was trying to find a song that would make you all think of James, there were so many that I could choose from. Yet none of them portrayed my true feelings for him. I found a song that is nothing like what we listen to or play at all but the lyrics are incredible and very powerful, just like Jay and so I want to play it for you all now. I love you Jay-Jay.” I brush away my tears and pick up my guitar. I sit myself in the chair and begin to strum. The chords coming to me so easily. I’ve been playing this over and over since I chose it to play. I didn’t want to mess it up. I look up as I play, in a hope that you can see that I am playing this just for you.
“He lived like he knew nothing lasts
Didn't care to look like anyone else
And he was beautiful, so beautiful
I still hear him laugh like he's here
Shower it down on all the young
Is it so wrong to have such fun...
Forever angel, I hope they love you like we do
Forever angel, I'll be proud to be like you
Be like you
I'll be proud to be like you
Does the sun shine up at you when you're looking down?
Do you get along with the others around?
It's got to be better than before
You don't need to worry now you're gone...
Forever angel, I hope they love you like we do
Forever angel, I'll be proud to be like you
Be like you, just like you...
And when I go to sleep at night
I'll thank you for each blessed thing surrounding me
For every fall I'll ever break
Each moment's breath I wanna taste
Confidence and conscience, decadent extravagance
Never ending providence, for loving when I had the chance
Angel, I hope they love you like we do
Forever angel, I'll be proud to be like you
Forever angel, I'll be proud to be like you
Be like you
I'll be proud to be like you”
When I play the last chord and sing the last word. I just close my eyes and my head is filled with images of your face and all I can hear is applause and tears. I’ll never forget you James.
Author Carly
Pairing JayBourne
RatingNot sure yet…
Part One of one!
It’s hard. Really hard. I’ll never forget the day when I got told that I’d never see you again. I cried. Me, big, tough, loud Matt cried for 3 days straight. You died 2 days after I told you what I’d wanted to tell you since we met. That I loved you. Yes, I want to scream out to everyone, I loved James Bourne. More than I’ll ever love anyone in my life. Everything about you made me smile. I could be me when I was with you and you understood me so well. If you were here, we could have been something excellent together.
Yet as all these thoughts rush through my head about you, about how perfect you were in every way, I have nothing that I want to tell them. It’s all a bit too personal for me. You were the only one that ever got close to knowing the real me. I want to tell all these people just why I loved you. Why you’re so special and how I will NEVER get over you. EVER. I’ll never find anyone else that I need as much as I needed you. And I did. So much. I needed you there to tell me that I wasn’t useless, that I had a purpose and most of all, that you loved me and needed me too.
As soon as I told you how I felt you lunged your whole body at me and we were kissing and it was so much bliss I could never begin to explain just how I felt at the moment when ur arms tightened around me and I felt your tongue in my mouth and we fell back on the sofa entwined in each other. To me it was heaven. Now you’ve gone to give someone else as much joy as you gave me. Up in heaven. I know that’s where you’ve gone because you were so innocent that there is nowhere else that would suit you apart from eternal paradise.
You are my angel Jay and I know that you are watching me now as I stand on the podium, tears streaming down my face just looking at everyone who has come to say their final goodbyes. Except it’s not their last goodbye. No one could ever forget you. Who would they want to anyway?
I thought that I would be able to manage coming up here just to tell everyone that you were perfect and you’ll always be missed but I even ****ed that up. All I can do is look around at all the crying faces. My eyes are blurry and I reach my hand up to brush away the tears that are determined to never stop falling. I feel Nick come up beside and place his hand on my arm. He asks me if I want him to say something for him. I shake my head and raise my face to the ceiling in a silent prayer that you can see me now and know how much you meant to me.
“I don’t know what to say to you all today. I know what you are all thinking because the thoughts in your mind are the same as mine. He’s an angel and he’s resting in heaven. He made me whole and I know he touched just about everyone’s heart that he met.” I sigh and look around again. Everyone’s attention is on me and I know what I want to do. “When I was trying to find a song that would make you all think of James, there were so many that I could choose from. Yet none of them portrayed my true feelings for him. I found a song that is nothing like what we listen to or play at all but the lyrics are incredible and very powerful, just like Jay and so I want to play it for you all now. I love you Jay-Jay.” I brush away my tears and pick up my guitar. I sit myself in the chair and begin to strum. The chords coming to me so easily. I’ve been playing this over and over since I chose it to play. I didn’t want to mess it up. I look up as I play, in a hope that you can see that I am playing this just for you.
“He lived like he knew nothing lasts
Didn't care to look like anyone else
And he was beautiful, so beautiful
I still hear him laugh like he's here
Shower it down on all the young
Is it so wrong to have such fun...
Forever angel, I hope they love you like we do
Forever angel, I'll be proud to be like you
Be like you
I'll be proud to be like you
Does the sun shine up at you when you're looking down?
Do you get along with the others around?
It's got to be better than before
You don't need to worry now you're gone...
Forever angel, I hope they love you like we do
Forever angel, I'll be proud to be like you
Be like you, just like you...
And when I go to sleep at night
I'll thank you for each blessed thing surrounding me
For every fall I'll ever break
Each moment's breath I wanna taste
Confidence and conscience, decadent extravagance
Never ending providence, for loving when I had the chance
Angel, I hope they love you like we do
Forever angel, I'll be proud to be like you
Forever angel, I'll be proud to be like you
Be like you
I'll be proud to be like you”
When I play the last chord and sing the last word. I just close my eyes and my head is filled with images of your face and all I can hear is applause and tears. I’ll never forget you James.
but it s good anyway 
