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Post by SuZiE-jO-bEe on Mar 23, 2004 16:41:15 GMT -5
read it all tis v gd loved the bit were u and matt got pissed and all that me want more 2 read
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Post by KimBob on Mar 23, 2004 16:52:52 GMT -5
Ah, there. I've given up my whole fecking night (erm, well not relly) for this brilliant bit of fic!! Urgh, it's WAY WAY WAY WAAAAAAAAY too late (23:34 to be precise here in good ol' Hollando) to give you a full review on this, but so far, it's bril, I tell youz. Absolutely genius, even. Every single joke, every shed tear is just randomly said: PERFECTO. I couldn't have done it better meself. No really, from the audition and the first fight between Emma and Matt, to the part where they get absolutely pissed and are puzzled at what happened that night, to the lump of Haagen Dazs ( I think that's actually a Dutch brand?) flying through the room in the (so far) end. I DEMAND you to get your fingers in gear and write MORE MORE MOREEEEE!!! With friend or without, I'm sure you'll manage it, if not, and you don't know what to do for a moment and are stuck with some things (such as a writers block that some of us have expierenced a couple of times *whistles and looks the other way* Not me!) just ask around. I bet at least ONE of us can help you out (if it's not in a hyper mood and come up with ideas like three-headed babies and such *cough*MIZZ*cough*).
Go you! so far.
Now I'm gonna have a well earned sleep (which I still haven't got and it's nearly twelve *cries in a four-year-old way*). I'm knackered, see you all soon, if not, then I'm dead.
Loadsa love, Kim
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Post by SuZiE-jO-bEe on Mar 23, 2004 17:08:31 GMT -5
cya
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Post by Kolakube on Mar 24, 2004 7:42:36 GMT -5
Ah, there. I've given up my whole fecking night (erm, well not relly) for this brilliant bit of fic!! Urgh, it's WAY WAY WAY WAAAAAAAAY too late (23:34 to be precise here in good ol' Hollando) to give you a full review on this, but so far, it's bril, I tell youz. Absolutely genius, even. Every single joke, every shed tear is just randomly said: PERFECTO. I couldn't have done it better meself. No really, from the audition and the first fight between Emma and Matt, to the part where they get absolutely pissed and are puzzled at what happened that night, to the lump of Haagen Dazs ( I think that's actually a Dutch brand?) flying through the room in the (so far) end. I DEMAND you to get your fingers in gear and write MORE MORE MOREEEEE!!! With friend or without, I'm sure you'll manage it, if not, and you don't know what to do for a moment and are stuck with some things (such as a writers block that some of us have expierenced a couple of times *whistles and looks the other way* Not me!) just ask around. I bet at least ONE of us can help you out (if it's not in a hyper mood and come up with ideas like three-headed babies and such *cough*MIZZ*cough*). Go you! so far. Now I'm gonna have a well earned sleep (which I still haven't got and it's nearly twelve *cries in a four-year-old way*). I'm knackered, see you all soon, if not, then I'm dead. Loadsa love, Kim *goes all shy and embarrassed* wow!!!! cheers kim!!!! I will definately write more v.soon. I might even do it tonight!!!!! I promise I won't put three headed babies in it. The thing is, i already know what happens and how it finishes etc, but I just have to write it. I have many useless physics lessons to thank for that. So basically the basic plotline is finished and looking at it there are 26 points on the outline, and i've covered uh..... 14 so just over half!!!! crap this is gonna be long
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Post by SuZiE-jO-bEe on Mar 24, 2004 8:11:25 GMT -5
lol the longness
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Post by KimBob on Mar 24, 2004 8:17:04 GMT -5
*goes all shy and embarrassed* wow!!!! cheers kim!!!! I will definately write more v.soon. I might even do it tonight!!!!! I promise I won't put three headed babies in it. The thing is, i already know what happens and how it finishes etc, but I just have to write it. I have many useless physics lessons to thank for that. So basically the basic plotline is finished and looking at it there are 26 points on the outline, and i've covered uh..... 14 so just over half!!!! crap this is gonna be long Not a problem, dear. Looking back on it now, that actually WAS a full review! Lol! Ah well, nice to know you've got everything sorted in your head already (uhm, that might've come out differently than it was supposed to) ;D. Hope to get some more of this bril fic soon! *waves* I'm off for a bit, gonna try to get an hour of sleep. Love, Kim
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Post by Denz on Mar 24, 2004 10:15:16 GMT -5
Is v.v.gooooed ;D ;D ;D
I liked all of it, speshly the second part... and this bit
“Heil Emma!” he said, putting his finger beneath his nose to make a Hilter moustache. “Don’t mention ze var!” Matt shouted. James strode over to him quickly. “Vill you stop mentioning ze var!” “You started it!” “Ve did not start it!”
;D
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Post by Kolakube on Mar 24, 2004 14:39:57 GMT -5
hehehe, nicked straight out of Fawlty Towers.
I mean.............. borrowed, not nicked ;D ;D ;D
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Post by KimBob on Mar 25, 2004 13:21:31 GMT -5
Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic Fic (Ah, I'm luvin' CTRL V)
Me wants new bit!!
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Post by Kolakube on Mar 26, 2004 7:03:15 GMT -5
hmmmm, Let me think
I will try and write some more honest
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Post by Kolakube on Mar 26, 2004 7:23:21 GMT -5
I put my hand to my face and dabbed some of the ice cream off. "Whatcha do that for?" I slurred, looking at Matt's wide evil grin. He slowly moved forward and dabbed his finger in the ice cream and licked it off. He quickly did it again. Eventually he shrugged and just licked it off my cheek. I giggle and pushed him away. "Dont!, It tickles!" I shreiked as he started giggling as well. James walked into the middle of the commotion and tutted. "You have to grow up" he sighed sitting down. He smiled to show he was joking. Matt kept slowly leaning forward and pecking me on the back of the neck when I was looking the other way, before sitting backwards when I turned to look. I smirked at him. "If you wanna kiss me Matt, then just kiss me" I said in mock anger. "Alright then, I will!" he replied before grabbing me and kissing me long and hard on the lips. "Guys! Just get a bloody room!" shouted James from the armchair. Matt pulled away. "Fine then, we will," he shouted angrily, picking me up in his arms. "Matt, you can stop being angry now" I giggled. He paused. "Oh right, well bye James!" he said before slamming his bedroom door shut behind us.
Bit short but hey........ I'm gonna start a new bullet point on my list in the next bit.
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Post by KimBob on Mar 26, 2004 8:19:54 GMT -5
Ah, thank you. Here's my full review on what you've written so far:
I've got to be honest with you though. And don't start to get worried now, because it's a good confession... Well, I have to say you are an excellent writer. I don't know how you do it, but I always try to avoid predictable things. In this case it's Matt kissing her and taking her to the bedroom. But also, in this case, it's perfectly fine. I have no idea why, but it just is. I can't say I'm a professional, but I have quite a good view on stuff people write for some reason. Another confession; you're one of the few people that write in such a way that I don't get annoyed by the way they spell or type (except in the last bit, I saw a few typo's there, but that's okay). For example, I have read this enormous fiction, I think it's like 27 pages long, and the girl who wrote it, used 'he's' instead of 'his'. That kept on annoying me for the whole of the fiction, but aside from that it was brilliant, really. Anyway, my point being here: The way you spell and type do have some sort of influence on the reader. In my case anyway, and you're doing just fine. I don't feel like I have to copy and paste everything, and get the typo's out, and that's a big plus. You're being very creative with what you've got, and you're giving a cool breath of fresh air to me, compared to other fictions I've read. But, and this is not a bad comment, you've got a few clichés going on as well (like, 'girl gets together with boy she hates', or 'the friend on the side that actually fancies the girl' well I'm not sure on that one, but it's something like that anyway), but you compensate that with new ideas, like Matt being a complete arse in the beginning, a girl into the band, instead of Busted fan gets together with one of the lads. Also, you're not getting too many characters into the story, which is very nice, because else it can get a bit complicated for the reader, and will eventually lead into stop reading the story. And that's not what you want.
On the whole, you're a brilliant writer. Even without your friend. Oh, and one last comment on the first bits you wrote with your friend; I can't even notice who wrote what. And that's class ;D. I know from experience that collaborations can be very tricky, especially when you're writing with someone who has a totally different style in writing.
I can't wait for you to write the rest!
Love, Kim xxx
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Post by Minz on Mar 26, 2004 12:18:30 GMT -5
OI! The Three-Headed-Babies is MY trademark! I doubt anyone'd want it anyway
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Post by KimBob on Mar 26, 2004 16:11:23 GMT -5
Oh, shut up you spaz I coughed your name out!
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Post by Minz on Mar 27, 2004 1:47:16 GMT -5
So you see, mine and Kim's ahem friendship is one that cancels itself out ;D And yes, I am a spaz WHAT DO YOU TAKE ME FOR, WOMAN?
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