Post by Kolakube on Dec 2, 2003 13:47:33 GMT -5
okay then so this is very long but here it is. It is so freakily true. The grammar in my type up isn't very good 'cos i was doing it quickly!!!!
Why is English so hard to learn?
The bandage was wound around the wound
The farm used to produce produce
The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse
We must polish the Polish furniture
The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert
Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present
I did not object to the object
There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row
They were too close to the door to close it
Upon seeing the tear in the painting i shed a tear
How can i intimate this to my most intimate friend?
Lets face it:-
English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger, neither apple nor pine in pine apple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French Fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweet breads, which aren't sweet, are meat. You cannot buy boots in Boots, you cannot buy virgins in Virgin, you cannot buy threshers in Threshers and the Superdrug chain is a disappointment. We take English for granted.
But if we explore its paradoxes we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, two gees so one moose two meese? One index two indicies? If teachers taught why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
Sometimes I think all English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the orally insane. In what language do people recite at a play but play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the samewhile a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out, and in which an alarm goes off by going on. English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race (which of course isn't a race at all) That is why, when the stars areout they are visible but when the lights are out they are invisible.
And finally, how about when you want to shut down your computer, you have to hit 'START'?
Why is English so hard to learn?
The bandage was wound around the wound
The farm used to produce produce
The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse
We must polish the Polish furniture
The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert
Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present
I did not object to the object
There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row
They were too close to the door to close it
Upon seeing the tear in the painting i shed a tear
How can i intimate this to my most intimate friend?
Lets face it:-
English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger, neither apple nor pine in pine apple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French Fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweet breads, which aren't sweet, are meat. You cannot buy boots in Boots, you cannot buy virgins in Virgin, you cannot buy threshers in Threshers and the Superdrug chain is a disappointment. We take English for granted.
But if we explore its paradoxes we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, two gees so one moose two meese? One index two indicies? If teachers taught why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
Sometimes I think all English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the orally insane. In what language do people recite at a play but play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the samewhile a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out, and in which an alarm goes off by going on. English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race (which of course isn't a race at all) That is why, when the stars areout they are visible but when the lights are out they are invisible.
And finally, how about when you want to shut down your computer, you have to hit 'START'?
*
! It was like, 'It is NONE of your business dude!' I didnt really say that, but I was thinking it...